Icecreamandcake

Co-worker: “…You’re very cheerful this morning.”

Me: “I know! It’s probably all the espresso—I’ve had like three already and for the past few weeks I’ve been cutting back, sometimes only half a shot—that’s it!—the rest just sits and gets cold so I throw it out but, god, I was soooo sleepy this morning I just couldn’t do it, I had to have more, so yeah it’s probably the caffeine, but I won’t have anymore—well maybe just a small cup of coffee—because my face is starting to tingle.”

Co-worker: “Oh. Okay. I thought maybe you were drunk, but I didn’t know how to ask.”

Me: “Hahahahahahahahahaha!”

Me: *sets self on fire and jumps out of a window

Me: *just making stuff up now. My eyeballs are vibrating :l