March 2012
38 posts
1 tag
February 2012
73 posts
I decided to clean off my desk when I got home.
Things started out okay, but quickly degraded, and now I feel like I’ve taken on a soul-crushing task, and I’m afraid I’m becoming a hoarder like my mother, and I keep telling myself that it’s just a desk, but then I move something and find another project I never finished, and then I get upset, and, anyway, is there a blog that’s just pictures of clean desks, because...
나는 나의 바지에 똥 쌌어 있도록 열심히 웃었다!
In bed, using google translate to write messages about poop(in Korean) that I’ve been sending to my boss and co-workers.
I love the internet because it allows me to bother everyone I know, even when we’re apart.
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Just fell backwards off the couch.
I deserved it.
My Sunday afternoon blogging is the worst, I know, but I need something to distract me from the hangover I am trying to deny.
I have things to do! Go awaaaaay.
Voguing with my brother was one of my favorite...
jayouelioh:
Having a brother who duck walks with you is awesome!
I try.
I spent way too much on drinks. And now I’m home eating peanut butter and cereal.
But I had fun.
HERESY!
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sanfo asked: Hi! How are things going?
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New rule: don't even joke about anal dentata to a...
WHY.
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Co-worker: “…You’re very cheerful this morning.”
Me: “I know! It’s probably all the espresso—I’ve had like three already and for the past few weeks I’ve been cutting back, sometimes only half a shot—that’s it!—the rest just sits and gets cold so I throw it out but, god, I was soooo sleepy this morning I just couldn’t do it, I had to have more, so yeah it’s probably the caffeine, but I won’t have...
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swamibooba replied to your photo: About two weeks ago, Chris had a poster giveaway…
TOO MANY CHRIS’S
I just said the same thing.
If I ever see another Pablo on tumblr I’m going to cyberbully him.
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Last weekend I left a bag of clothes at my sister’s house. My brother in law just dropped it off a minute ago. I forgot that he was coming today, and I was in the middle of a solid porn sesh when he knocked on my door.
I panicked. I stuffed my boner down into my underwear at a really odd and painful angle, messed up my hair as I ran to the door so that I could pretend I had been asleep, ran...
Gay Porn and Kitties. →
This was my idea, but Chris ran with it and made it his own and it’s exactly what it sounds like.
EXACTLY, so NSFW and whatever.
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...
I’m glad only twelve of you were awake last night/early this morning when I, apparently, descended into the pit of my being and became a horny, raging maniac.
We’ve all been there before, though. Right? Right?
I had the cab driver drop me off in front of the Dunkin’ Donuts, because I thought they would be open at 2 a.m., and when they weren’t I staggered home and (John...
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Overheard
year36:
I wish I had a dick, so I could tell somebody to suck it
Anonymous asked: Fun fact: in Ancient Rome, some philosophers argued that men having sex with women was not as pure as gay sex. Also, the whole obsession with boobs didn't start until the eighteenth century. Before that, it was an obsession with dudes with big dicks.
Kitty-to-karen(previously Bogarts, previously Private Snafu, previously previously Queefy) is my Savior, I shall not want.
She maketh me to lie down in green pastures: she leadeth me beside the still waters.
She restoreth my soul: SHE GOT ME LAYS LIMON CHIPS Y’ALL.
I have been craving them like a loose anus craves a fat dick since I had them in Texas over a year ago. CRAVING.
She is my...
Wait, what.
I was going to make the title something else, but I can’t remember what it was now.
I’m making a pizza. I’m not supposed to be eating pissa, but fuck it, the store was like right there and the pissa was like right there so I bought one and now it’s in the oven.
I’m kind of a little maybe more than a little sad right now because I was supposed to have gone out to see...
Anal.
Showmanship.
I wasn’t even trying to make this a real post, I was just testing out how my phone’s swype keyboard works with tumblr by typing “anal” over and over again and it auto-corrected it to “showmanship”.
Anal showmanship.
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Earlier.
Boss: “You and John doing anything for Valentine’s Day?”
Me: “Not anything special. It’s not something we get too excited about.”
Boss: “Ugh, you guys are so boring. How did you even meet? You’ve never told me. I bet it was boring.”
Me: “…Myspace.”
Boss: *loses her shit laughing*
Me: “WHAT.”
Boss: *walks back...
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I hope when he came for her, Whitney looked into...
Oh god, I knew this was going to happen.
I ate too much party food, and cake, and sweet tea(so sweet!) and now I have to poop and I caaaaaan’t because the toilet here is gross plus no. Just no.
I’m going to die.
Anonymous asked: I don't understand your blog right now. What's happening?