Icecreamandcake

I’m still holding a grudge against Kim Kardashian for that “Her eyes were closed and I was feeling my look! Can I live?!?!” tweet, because I’ll think about it at the worst times and start laughing. It’s been over a year, how long is this going to be funny to me? I’ve already imagined going to someone’s funeral and seeing them lying in their casket, all made up and wearing nice clothes, thinking “Can I live?!?!” and laughing about it.

kiss-distinctly-american:

On the plus side to this shithole work and weather day, my Uber driver is super hot and I get to meet icecreamsandcake later! ♡♡♡

Soon! 😃

Me: “Do you think brownie mix can be used to make hot cocoa?”

Friend: “…”

Me: “There’s no eggs, and you have this brownie mix, and I just want something hot to—”

Friend: “Are you asking me if you can drink cake?”

Me: “Yes.”

I had a dream—nightmare—the other night. The phlebotomist was digging his needle into my artery again. “Some people scream”, which is what he actually said to me when it happened in real life. I didn’t scream, though. Not then, not in my dream, although in my dream I couldn’t move or open my mouth, so that made it easier.

The spot on my wrist where he stuck the needle is healed now—most of the holes they made in me have healed.

I try not to think about the way they opened me up, what they took out and then put back inside me.

I’m still recovering, I still hurt, but I’m doing better everyday. I feel like myself again. Sometimes I feel so full—I don’t know how else to describe it—I want to explode. And maybe this is what it felt like before, but I can’t remember, because it seems so long ago, and I was so tired and so sick for so long. Maybe this is just what it feels like to be normal again. Or close to normal. Either way, it’s good enough. I’ll take it.

I have a metal heart and I can hear it ticking.

That’s an exaggeration—I only have a metal aortic valve, but I CAN hear it ticking, when I’m in a very quiet place.

I was sick again, and was in the hospital for over two weeks, where I was poked and bled and ultrasound-ed, etc, leading up to open heart surgery last Thursday. I had two heart valves that were damaged by a blood infection. One was repaired, and the other was replaced with a metal valve.

I just got home this morning. I feel weird.

I tried to make a post about it while I was hospitalized, but everything was kind of overwhelming and I was doped up the majority of the time.

I’ll probably have more to say about the whole ordeal later, but I just wanted to update everyone while my pain meds are working and I’m feeling good enough to talk about it a little bit.

I’ll go back to listening to my heart now. It ticks like a little clock.

Me: “I think I’m not as gross as I used to be.”

Friend: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I don’t have an ice cream shirt anymore.”

Friend: “What’s an ice cream shirt?”

Me: “You know, it’s like a shirt you wear while you’re in bed, watching TV, and you’re eating ice cream, probably straight out of the container, and if a little bit falls onto the shirt it’s like whatever, just scoop it up and eat it anyway.”

Friend: “…”

Friend: “…I was taking my sheets off the bed to put in the wash, and I found dried up barbecue sauce on them.”